Let’s just start with OH.MY.GOSH.
I’ve been teaching now for uhm 1 year and 7 months. I have had 2 classes. This does not include my sweet student teaching year.
Here’s some of my DAILY words.
1) “Sit on your bum.” I used to say pockets but HEY they all know that it’s THEIR butt that I am referring to.
2) You are tattling and I DON’T want to hear it.
3) “Student, go tell him “I don’t like it when you punch me, please stop.”” Yup, that then turns into “Don’t punch me.” (Way to go my little parrot.)
4) Today, I started “You lost it, I have it, 10 push ups, GO!” 3 kids surely learned that they don’t want to lose their dry erase marker– those suckers AREN’T cheap.
5) “See, I knew you how to do it. Stop acting like you don’t know anything. I promise, you do.”
6) Finger snaps.
7) Sign Language SIT DOWN NOW.
8) I often am screaming in my head “ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I JUST HAD YOU CLEAN YOUR DESK? HOW HARD IS IT NOT TO RIP A STUPID PIECE OF STUPID PAPER?” But calmly say “Just go staple it.”
9) I don’t trust my students to use my nice pencil sharpener but I trust them to you a stapler and not staple their fingers.
10) I really have a hard time that I can only pee 2 times a day. At lunch and at recess. I apparently have a small teacher bladder.
I honestly LOVE teaching. I do. I really do. I was asked “You practice patience and being a good parent everyday. Are you perfect at it?” My response “Nope, I’ll probably even have a harder time with my own kids. Thank you very much.”