The life I never completely knew I wanted.

This life that I am living recently changed. Who knew that three months ago, TODAY (okay, it’s been sitting in my draft bin for weeks), that I would be making life changing decisions. I chose God. I chose my family. I chose me. Now, the journey over the past three months has not been easy but as the saying goes, it has been incredibly worth it. The past three months I’m learning who I really am. I am developing better habits. I used to write in my journal once a month. ONCE a month. Now, I write 4-7 times a week! Look at that!

When I took a different road, I decided to start reading my scriptures daily (really, we’ve always been taught that- well, I was “motivated enough to read once a week). I’ve cruised through the BOM and I’m already in Helaman. I’ve changed my attitude towards others. I love more. I give hugs more. I love those little babies in my class more. I cherish the tender mercies that God gives me multiple times a day. I can honestly say that each day, I write thank you to Him.

My dear friend had a baby recently. I am through the roof with joy, excitement, happiness and love for her. It was amazing that in a my moments of pure joy for her, I thought to myself “How am I so happy for her? I  should really want a big FATTY cupcake because its NOT ME.” How selfish am I? As quickly as that thought came, it left and I recognized that it simply isn’t my turn yet. All I need to do is warn her:  Be prepared, the baby hog will be spending some saturdays up with a sweet little baby in her (my) arms.

This change that I’ve gone through is one that I never ever want to forget.

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I was talking to my best friend and we were talking about if we are too picky with boys and how we get on the track of “what is wrong with me?” thoughts and I said “Really, is it about what is wrong with me or is it what do I need to learn?” Honestly, I don’t know if it’s what I need to learn or if its about what the future hubs needs to learn but it’s all about getting to the stair case landing at the same time and recognizing the sheer joy that will erupt when we both make it there.

P.S. cute boy down the street, yup, you. thanks for being so cute!

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