I had a blog posted.

I had a blog posted where I finally got somethings off my chest but then I realized, it’s not about other people, it’s about myself. It’s about not caring what others think, say or do. It’s about being flattered. It’s about focusing on myself. I had this idea. It was a great one. It was and may I say it is NOT directed at anyone, just so I am clear… It was “Why do I care if they aren’t apart of my life?”

The drivers who cut my off. The people who steal from me. The people who have hurt me. That one teacher at the school I tutor at. They aren’t apart of my life, so why do I waste my time fixating on why they don’t like me? If someone doesn’t like me, it’s honestly their problem and I shouldn’t change my lifestyle for them. Let me re-illiterate, this is not intended for anyone in particular.

It was my light bulb moment. No one is allowed to steal it. Jessica, aren’t you proud of me? I had a light bulb moment. It was like ah-ha, I’ve GOT IT!

Last night I went on a date. A hot date. My date, tall dark and handsome, picked me up. We talked the whole way down to Jordan Commons, is that right? We went to a chick flick, Dear John. Then after wards, we went down to Yogurt Stop and had yogurt. Then after that, we went with the group to someone’s house and talked.

I have to say that it was really fun. It wasn’t just fun, it was a blast. But I’m tired. I am going back to bed. Getting home at 3 in the morning is too party animal of me. Yahoo.

Dear John is another story. Oh my heck. What the heck is up with the movie? The book, I have read, is much better. Except for when they are kissing in the rain in the “house.” My knees got a little weak, good thing I was sitting down. In the book, Tim wasn’t in his 30’s, he was 2 years older! In the book, Alan was his little brother. In the book, it takes John’s father to die a little longer.

But I loved the movie. I loved how it implied they end up together because you know, when two people are supposed to be together and it finally happens, no one can be anything but happy for the two people. I guess I am a hopeless (is that right) romantic. I believe in love at first sight. I believe in happily ever after. I believe that after everything two people can go through together, they can make it work.

She likes dogs, he likes, heaven forbid, cats… it can work.

She likes chevy’s, he likes fords….. it still can work.

She likes country settings, he likes the city lights…. it can work.

She likes pop music and he likes country, it can work.

She wants a house full of smelly children and he want’s 1, it can work.

I think if you put the time and energy into making something work, if the two people want it both to work, it can work. If you are beating a dead horse into submission, then you gotta back out. That is one thing I have learned. If you want something so bad to work that you push, you pull and nothing seems to happen, then obviously it’s not meant to. I’m the pusher and the puller. It’s my weakness. I try so hard to make things work that sometimes, when it doesn’t, I’m hurt, I’m weak and I’m mad but I’ve come to accept it.

Life isn’t always about the things always working out, life is about learning from your experiences. Life is about living to the fullest. Life is about enjoying each breath you are given because you never know when it will be your last.

Life isn’t a matter of milestones, but of moments.

Last night on my date, we were talking about first kiss stories. Oh my heck, I sound like I’ve lived in Utard for all my life, oh my heck…. who am I becoming, next I’ll be pronouncing Layton like Layon. So not funny but the stories were. But I realized, why have I kissed all those other guys when in fact, the only person I want to kiss is the future Mr. Courtney Terry. Okay, since I don’t know his name, I had to use mine. I apologize, sir.

Maybe, I push and pull for the future when I am supposed to live in the present.

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